Shimmy, shimmy sugar—SHIT!
February slush-squish, root beer Slurpee, mashed potatoes
What is this crap?
Front tire side-swerves, back tire spin-slips
You look so soft, your mish-mush patches of plantation raw—
Or is it demerara, turbinado, or dark muscovado?
I won’t be fooled by your sweetie-pie schtick
You are sweet misery on asphalt
Bastard child of global warming and half-assed snow plowing
Succubus of slirt
Take my eyes off you and I’m down for one lump, maybe two
Give me a meringue of snow drifts
Give me a skating rink of a road
Give me an archipelago of potholes
But—ENOUGH with this brown sugar!
How can something that looks so sweet suck so bad?